i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
