Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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