i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
