I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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