Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
