Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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