Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
