Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
