I hate all girls vehemently.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize