I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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