sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
