Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
my shit smells like andre
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
