She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
