can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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