In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
