this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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