Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
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She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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