Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Still dying that you shit outside
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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