dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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