I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
