Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize