Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
