I think my vagina is haunted
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
