i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
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I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
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But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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