Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
