Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
