party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
