No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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