k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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