dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
