Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
