You work out of a Hotel?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
