I just cut my nipple shaving
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
