last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I am naked and annoyed.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
