Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
