Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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