So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
