I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
