Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
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How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
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i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
When are your genitals available?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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