Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
