Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
