So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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