How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i will never coherently bang her
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
