It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
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Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
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I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Damn victory sex feels great
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