The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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