Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
