How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
