you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
