Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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