saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
