used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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