I've blown a few things in my day
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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