You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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