And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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