did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
