Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize