My friends, they love my intelligence
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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