I just found puke in my bra..
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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